**TMI***

I have been bleeding for 12 days.

It's this wimpy bleeding, that doesn't require anything but a pantyliner, and I feel like I'm wasting one when I use it. Every once in awhile I will bleed a bit more, but only occasionally.
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I am just very down in my spirit right now. I thought for sure I was pregnant.
I haven't been able to bounce back from the negative pregnancy test last Friday. I am so very frustrated. And heartsick. And not satisfied with myself at all. Oh, not to mention my hormones are an absolute wreck right because I keep forgetting to take my meds. I cry at the drop of a hat, and once I start crying, it's difficult to stop.


I am ridiculously bloated, and I feel like a fat heifer. I haven't made any permanent weight lost past the ten pounds, simply because I got sick of trying so dang hard. It's a little difficult to drink a ridiculous amount of water every day when you're running around after delinquent kids.

I'm going to kind of take a break from blogging about my journey. I thought it would be therapeutic and cleansing, and while at times it is, lately it hurts to be this vulnerable as well. I'm tearing up as I type this, because it's just painful to dwell on the negative pregnancy test and focus on how absolutely frustrating it is to not be able to conceive.

Pray for me please. I am really struggling through this to get to the other side. I guess it would be one thing if it was just that I am struggling with conceiving...but having a stressful job that is currently not fulfilling me.... it's just a little too much right now.