News from the dr's appointment...

Well, hmmmm...I'm not even sure where to begin. I guess I can just walk through my dr's appointment from beginning to end. That seems most appropriate.

So, the dr. came in and I asked her what are the next steps after we conclude the Clomid process. First of all, she told me that she doesn't want to increase my Clomid to 150 mg because a) that is the highest dosage and b) if I am ovulating, she doesn't see that being necessary. I can understand that, and I appreciate it, because I was quite fearful of what 150 mg would hold when 50 and 100 have been fairly hard. She also told me that if I wanted, we could do more than 3 months of Clomid, but usually by then we move on to other things. She explained the next step would be...well...

**TMI** (seriously...TMI until I write "end TMI", so get ready for it)

For my husband to do a sperm sample to determine if he has a normal sperm count. This makes me a bit...anxious? We are Christians and have obvious convictions, and since I knew my dr. was a Union graduate, I figured she'd understand my next awkward yet completely necessary question I asked... can we gather a sample at home? Looking back on this, it probably sounds completely ridiculous and I should probably be embarassed that I asked this, but still! Anyway, she said that it depended on how far we live away from the clinic, but since we only live about 5 minutes away, it should be no problem. So, that's good. Wow. This is awkward to blog about, but it's part of my update from my dr.'s appointment, so I guess I had to share.

***end TMI***

Anyway, so I asked about the ultrasound in which they examine my ovaries to see if I've produced follicles to determine if I've ovulated. Normally, women on Clomid have these every month to make sure the Clomid is working. Since this is month 2 on Clomid and no ultrasound has been scheduled, I figured that I needed to ask about this.
The next part will probably seem completely obvious for veteran TTCers, but for me, I had no idea.

So, apparently, insurance doesn't cover fertility treatments. The dr. explained this is because insurance companies don't see fertility efforts as necessary and are therefore not covered (um, HELLO! What, are all insurance companies run by MEN?!)

So, any fertility efforts from this point on...will not be covered by insurance.
This includes the follicle ultrasound, any IUI, sperm eval, etc.
WOW. W-O-W.

She printed me out a sheet that breaks down all of the costs of different fertility options.

She explained that instead of having an ultrasound to check my follicles (which is around, oh, $600-700 dollars a pop!!!) that we would do a blood sample which would check my progesterone level and indicate whether or not I've ovulated. I'm going in today at 4:00 for that.

So, basically after checking my husband's fertility end of things, we would then look at having an IUI. Which would then probably require the follicle ultrasound. The IUI is around $300, and the follicle ultrasound is of course $600-$700.

So, to sum it up, basically... if this Clomid doesn't work, then I will have to be dishing out over $1,000 a try for a baby.

I really, REALLY need this Clomid to work.

***

I am so very discouraged. We can't afford to do that every month. No way at all. Maybe once, and then wait a few months...but this waiting game is driving me insane.

I am just so very discouraged. I don't think I've let it sink in yet.

Why on earth should it be so hard to have a baby? Why, why, WHY?!

I really need to feel the strength of others' prayer right now, because I am just about to lose it.

Wow. I really didn't realize how much this hurts until I blogged about it.